"I will grow different, separate from all that is dear and appealing to me” is the first release from American ambient and shoegaze artist clairaudience. Distorted, blended, and bent guitar rips through a wall of tape feedback, evoking thoughts of nostalgia and annihilation. The title takes its name from “Upajjhatthana Sutta: Subjects for Contemplation,” the Buddhist discourse famous for its inclusion of five remembrances – five facts regarding life’s fragility and our true inheritance.

This project was born out of a place of grief and chance. Upon learning that a close friend had passed, the artist was searching through an old hard drive for pictures and remembrances when he found a folder named “clairaudience” from 10 years earlier. While the material from “I will grow different...” is not that exact music, the music that was found was a related body of work which already had a name and finite point of view and would go on to inform this release.